A Gift From My Grandpa

This was really monumental to me, so I decided to post it to both blogs.  From the Chart Chick Blog

George Alvin Carpenter About 1958

My father's father, George Alvin Carpenter was a great scholar.  He was a university professor who spent his career at UC Berkeley and then retired and taught 15 more years at Brigham Young University.  He was an agricultural economist who helped rebuild the economy in Europe after World War II.  He was involved in research and teaching his whole life.

But he was not a genealogist.  His father Joseph Hatten Carpenter was.  Joseph was a prolific genealogist who I've written about before.  I suspect that my Grandfather Alvin spent most of his life feeling that his father had done everything that was necessary with our family's history.  I don't think he was really very interested.

However, I do remember once, when I was about 7 or so, my Grandfather sat all of his grandchildren down on the swing on his back porch and told us about our family history.  I was the oldest, my cousins were probably between 2 and 4 years old.  I remember Grandpa was trying to tell us something important, but it was really boring.  I didn't understand much.  But I remember Grandpa was really proud of his heritage.

About 1973.  I'm on the left with my cousins on the porch swing.  If my memory is right, this is the day my grandfather tried to tell us about our family history.

Being a university professor, I know Grandpa was perfectly capable of real research and he could have been a good genealogist.  However my Grandfather performed only one genealogical act in his life that I know of. He wrote a history of his father, Joseph Hatten Carpenter--the genealogist.  This book is only 145 one sided pages.  But that one small act had a great impact on me.

The book was published when I was 10 years old.  Because I was one of the descendants, I got my very own copy.  It sat on the little white bookshelf in my room and on quiet nights, I would pull it out, and read about Joseph.  Even though I have many ancestors who were actually quite famous, Joseph was the one I knew the most about, and I became quite connected to him.  When the time came that I wanted to learn more about my family history, you can guess who I was connected to, and where I wanted to spend my time first.  I've traveled to the family history sites and archives researching along this line and I've learned alot about my patriarchal family because of this small book my Grandfather wrote.

Grandpa passed the year I turned 16. It is hard to quantify the effect he had on my life.  Certainly my ethic for education came from him and that has been a huge influence in my life.  I could go on and on about other things I've learned from him.  But this small book has been a real treasure.

When I started lecturing at Family History Conferences, my very first lecture was "Where to Start When It Is All Done,"  I talked about the family history my Great-Grandfather Joseph collected and what I've been able to do with it.  In that lecture, I often showed this book of my Grandfather's and talked about what an impact it had on my life and my family history work.  Diving into Family History when alot of work has already been done is challenging--just like it was for my Grandfather Alvin.  I tried to encourage the attendees by showing them his book and describing what an impact it had on me.  I told them that if they only accomplished one thing, it would be worth it in the lives of their descendants.  According to my records, I've given that lecture 34 times from coast to coast and my copy of Alvin's book has come along with me.

But the most amazing thing happened last month.  My son Matthew has been helping my Dad go through his family history boxes.  And they found this:  A copy of the book that my Grandfather had actually signed to me.  It reads in part:

I hope that you will enjoy reading about some of his wonderful accomplishments.  May you learn to appreciate the great heritage you have as his great-grand-daughter.  With love and best wishes, your grandfather, G. Alvin Carpenter.

When they gave it to me I just cried.  It was like a pat on the back from my Grandfather for the work that I have put into this industry, trying to help people with this important work.  I felt like I had been fulfilling my Grandfather's wishes, to learn about our amazing heritage and honor his legacy.  And even though he never saw it in this life, I had learned to appreciate this history that was so important to him.

Had I always had this copy of the book, I don't know that it would have had such an impact on me.  So you never know... you never know where the trail of breadcrumbs will lead your descendants.  How blessed I am for the people who went ahead of me and blazed that trail.

The Embrace of Family Traditions

Several years ago, I wrote on the Chart Chick blog about one of my favorite Christmas traditions (http://thechartchick.blogspot.com/2013/12/one-of-my-favorite-family-christmas.html) .  In my family, it is traditional to have English Trifle on Christmas Eve. I have British ancestry, and my Grandfather Darrell Dana loved it.  He loved all things custard and tapioca.  I get that from him.  We only have trifle on this one day of the year.  So it is really connected with Christmas to me. 

Christmas 1990 was my first Christmas away from home.  In fact, I was on the other side of the world.  My first marriage was falling apart and in those days you couldn't even call home much from so far away.  I was in the Middle East and the First Gulf War was about to break out.  It was a very stressful time.  I was lonely and it didn't seem like Christmas at all.  Some friends invited us over for Christmas Eve and when they brought out English Trifle for desert, it was like the heavens opened and the light shown down on my holiday.  It was a love note from home, from my ancestors, from the past.  Like a big warm hug.  The embrace of a Family Tradition.

When my Mom made trifle, year after year, she didn't know that she was sending that love note into the future.  But sometimes it is those little things that make those connections.  It can be those traditions and that shared history that ties us together.  Those are the pieces that make a family.  Traditions are part of the team narrative you have together.

This means so much more to me now that I have young adult children.  Next year, my eldest son will be the age I was in 1990.  All three of my kids are just about to leave the nest, and while I have them all home this Christmas, I find myself on the other side of this equation as the mother in the story. What have I done to create those bonds and establish the traditions that will bind my children to our family and fill their hearts with peace and love from us when they need it?  Like most well-intentioned mothers, I've made every mistake in the book.  And I'm trying to hug them enough right now.  But hopefully I've done enough that they will have those hugs from me in the future too.  Hopefully the right pieces will be there when they need it.

What are you doing in your family?  The holidays are a big time for traditions.  What are you doing this month to celebrate your family history and create a sense of heritage in your family?  Sometimes the best traditions are little ones that are practiced all through the year.  What will your family members have to embrace them during hard times?  Hug them now, but be intentional about the hugs you send into the future too.  My mom did, and I'm so thankful for that.

I'm bringing the trifle to our family gathering this Christmas Eve.  Thankfully my Mom and Dad will both be there and I'll get to share it with them and thank them again for this bit of light in my life.  How amazing that a simple thing like a trifle could mean so much. 

Cast Your Bread Upon The Waters

For you will find it after many days.  Come and listen to my real life experience with this, because it is all kinds of crazy awesome!

First, some back story.  Hovorka is of Czech descent, this much I know.  However, as far as Czech customs, not so much.  I married into that name, Kim's Great Grandparents came to Chicago from Czechoslovakia and Kim's uncle has taken that part of the family to do research on.  Over this last year or so as more Czech records have become available, I've gotten curious but it is still Kim's uncle's domain so I'm a bit rusty on the ins and outs of the deep roots in my husband's Hovorka history.  I really don't know much about the history even though I carry that name.  To quote Dickens, "This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate."

I have spent a great deal of time in pulling together my Zap the Grandma Gap Children's Activity Books for  British, German, Swedish, and Civil War ancestry.  I am also working on some for Jewish, Mormon, Pioneer, and Danish ancestry right now that we hope to have ready for Christmas.  But, I know so little about Czech ancestry and knew that was an undertaking I could probably never get to, as much as my heartstrings pulled me in that direction.  So, how should my bread return to me after the work I have set out for others?  The answer comes in the form of Texas.  More specifically the Texas Czech Genealogical Society.  That's right folks, I went to a genealogical conference and found help with my family's genealogy.  Why am I even surprised?

I was walking through the vendor hall at FGS in San Antonio when I saw their booth and stopped to see some books like mine but for Czech ancestry!!  Can you believe it?  I'm telling you, doors open in the most unexpected ways and places when you reach out and help others with their genealogy.  Again, no surprise, right?  Look what I found:

I was so excited!  This is just what I have been doing and to see it for Czech culture was so exciting and crazy and thrilling and it seriously made my day.  Of course I had to purchase these.  The likelihood of me ever being able to make Czech ancestry activity books is pretty minimal at the moment but seeing as how it's already done, I thought I would share it with you.  No point in re-inventing the wheel, after all.  Their website is currently under construction but I wanted to pass along their contact info just in case any of you, like me, are looking for something to incorporate your Czech ancestry into your family or holiday traditions.  You can reach them at 979-848-6517.

The activity books were actually compiled and written by Daniela Mahoney, Catherine Macaro, and Mary Jo Macaro and can be ordered directly from Daniela's website.  She also has lots of great Czech related products and books and I actually just ordered some more things for some Christmas presents (Shhh...Don't tell my kids.  I'm really sure they aren't reading Mom's blog so if one of you squeal, I'm going to know).  I am so excited to see someone doing this for Czech traditions and I have been quite giddy this morning flipping through the books I already have.  I can't wait to get the new ones I just ordered.

So in the end, the wonder of this story is this: keep doing what you are doing, even if you feel like you are making little progress with your own family.  What you send out always returns in the most unexpected of ways.  This experience has been such a reminder of that for me. 

What I learned on the ultra family history trip

So here are the things I learned while taking my family back to some of our British family history sites. 

1. Focus.  I have several other lines of ancestry from England.  I would have loved to have traced them all, but the kids would have been completely overwhelmed.  It was good to focus on one line so that they could really come to know those people.  We'll just have to go back again so that they can learn about those other lines ;)
2. Be flexible.  We never did get into one of the churches.  I could fixate on being disappointed in that.  But I can't let that overshadow how much we did see and learn.  It was a great trip.
3. Look for aha moments.  I had several aha moments because of the recent research I've been working on.  I understand the whole Draper thing much better.
4. Sample the local culture.  It was fun to try the food, see the sites and be thinking of what our ancestors ate and did.  
5. Make sure there is some down time.  Family History trips are go, go, go, learn, learn, learn.  I think most family members of all ages will get tired at some point.  Then they can't absorb as much.  Even if it just means going to bed early, find some time to wind down.
6. Let them pick a few activities.  The London Eye, Bletchley Park, etc. were great additions to the trip. Of course we were there to see London too. I think most youth can pick some local sites they want to see on any family trip.  Again, it is good to have some down time and let them process a little.  
7. Watch for serendipity.  Arriving in Taunton on the 275th anniversary of my 6th great-grandparents may have been more naivete than serendipity.  But it sure felt like serendipity.  Finding the law firm of Hatton and Wyatt was pretty fun too.  It made me feel like they were watching over us.  
8. Be flexible if things aren't the way you think they are going to be.  I've got to do some more research on the Congregationalist/Church of England issues.  It was not quite the way I had envisioned it but it is great to have more research work to do. 
9. Read in the car.  When you are traveling--especially by car, you have a captive audience.  Use that time to read to them, show pictures, etc.  Refresh their memories to make these ancestors become more real in the places you are visiting.
10. Take a chart.  We all referred to the chart many times.  It was useful to have the basic names, dates, and places out where you can see them.  And even better to have the known pictures available right there together.  If you don't know where to get a chart, don't worry, I can hook you up.  :)

I hope you can have a great family history trip soon with your family. It is soooo sweet to be able to take the family you have now with you. Good luck.  Let me know how it goes. 

And She Scores Part 2

I was able to see these sites and find these documents last February.  But it was slightly melancholy for me because I couldn't share it with my kids.  But today I was able to bring it all full circle.  Today I was able to share with my kids the great fun of finding the long talked about Trefusis Farm and showing them the amazing documents of their family history.

In the morning we walked around to see the two churches in Taunton where my ancestors were married.  St. Mary Magdelene Church is where my Great-great-great-grandfather Robert Gibbs Carpenter married my Great-great-great-grandmother Maria Wright on the 25th of August 1829.  We were hoping to catch a service at St. Mary's but for some reason the regular service there was closed.

And my 6th great-grandparents Thomas Carpenter and Jane Rugg were married on the 27th of December in 1737 at St. James Church.  We were there exactly 275 years after their marriage.  I didn't even realize that we were going to be there on their anniversary.  What serendipity.  And miraculously the kids smiled for the pictures and everything.

We headed out to the Somerset Heritage Centre and I was really glad I had already been there.  I was able to take them straight to the good stuff.  And in the best of all possible worlds, I'm scheduled to go back for the Who Do You Think You Are conference in February so I know I'm going to get another shot at research in this archive.  So I didn't need to research, we could just treat the archive like a museum and show the kids the good stuff.  If possible, I highly recommend the miraculous way that turned out.  Go yourself to check the places out, take the kids, and then go back more for real research later.  You could combine the first and the last parts, but it was really beautiful walking out of that archive without the longing of being able to go back and do more research.

My younger son was the most enthused about the documents.  I got to show them the wills from 1721 and 1753.  "These are older than the Declaration of Independence!"  He helped me hold several of them down so that I could get good pictures of them.  It was really amazing to get to hold them and see the wax seals.  We tried to be really gentle with them so that they would be still be available for our grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  But nothing can compare to real hands on family history.

From there we went out to Bradford on Tone.  It was just so sweet for me to be able to take them there.  We hunted around the church yard for gravestones.  I told them I'd pay out a reward for anyone who could find one of our ancestors.  I would have paid good money for that since our last ancestor to be buried there was in 1812.  I knew there weren't any gravestones there but I was hoping for a miracle.  It got the kids involved but unfortunately they didn't find anything.  We had called the night before and the caretaker said St Giles church was going to be open but we were foiled again.  We tried to get ahold of several people but no one was available to open the church.  No matter, it was brilliant to be there. 

We walked down to the 13th century bridge between the church and the farm.  Our ancestors definitely would have crossed this bridge many times on their way to the village.  One of  the kids said "Now that's bridging the generations.."  Good grief.  

We had lunch at the White Horse Inn across from the church.  I absolutely loved the slow service and the time to sit and enjoy being in this town with my kids.  We relaxed and enjoyed each other's company.  It was a really sweet moment for me. 

We went down to the farm and took a quick picture with the real trefusis sign.  My dad and my sister have both been out to the farm and had nice conversations with the people who live there but I didn't want to bother them.  We drove around a little and then started back towards London. 

The kids were typical teenagers.  They were good-natured and even when I made them hold up the genealogy chart for a picture I didn't get complaining.  But I don't know how much really sunk in.  I want them to relish in it,  My overzealousness probably shut down some of their own enthusiasm and put them into "Oh Mom" mode.  But I do think they felt it more than they would ever tell me.  I'm sure they were happy to make me so happy.  I'm sure I'll hear about how inspiring it all was about the time they hit their 30s.  

This is really the story of investing your children coming full circle.  My Grandparents had that Brigadoon-esque Trefusis sign over their doorway when I was a little girl and that inspired my curiosity.  Today I got to take my kids to that place and invest the next generation in their family's history.  Hopefully I've planted some seeds that will take root in future years too.