Presenting with My Family (Video)

The best moments in my speaking career have come when I've had the opportunity to speak with my family members.  I've spoken at BYU with all three of my children, I've spoken with both of my twin sisters Amy and Emily, and I've spoken at RootsTech with my Dad.  My son Matthew spoke at RootsTech on his own (he filled the room better than I did, but don't tell him that.)  Matthew's RootsTech talk was exceptional and he was asked to give it several more times at other conferences throughout Utah and California.

We have the opportunity to speak together this weekend again at the Welby West Jordan Family History Fair organized in part by my good friend Luana Darby.  Matthew hasn't given his talk for a couple of years now so we've been going through it and updating things to make sure it is all current.  As such, I've been really impressed with the videos we put together at the time.  Matthew is now 20 years old, but he was only 16 when he spoke at RootsTech.  This talk is really great for a 16 year old!  

One of the things we noticed at the RootsTech youth event the year before we gave this talk, was that many of the youth were looking at their phones throughout the presentation, but when the speaker played a video, all of the heads in the room popped up to watch the video.  So, in order to capture the younger generation's attention (and to take a little pressure off a 16 year old) we added short videos to his presentation.  Check them out:

His title, "Get to Know Your Geezers" was fabulous and eye catching as well.  At the very first RootsTech conference, someone actually criticized me for having my children there.  Now, with so many actively involving their children in their Family History Research, things have changed much for the better.  Families like the Family History Fanatics, and The Genealogy Kids are carrying on the torch as my kids head into college and beyond.  I'm sure those kids, and all of the kids they reach will be benefited the way my kids have been.  Truly that has been the biggest payoff of my career.  

A Gift From My Grandpa

This was really monumental to me, so I decided to post it to both blogs.  From the Chart Chick Blog

George Alvin Carpenter About 1958

My father's father, George Alvin Carpenter was a great scholar.  He was a university professor who spent his career at UC Berkeley and then retired and taught 15 more years at Brigham Young University.  He was an agricultural economist who helped rebuild the economy in Europe after World War II.  He was involved in research and teaching his whole life.

But he was not a genealogist.  His father Joseph Hatten Carpenter was.  Joseph was a prolific genealogist who I've written about before.  I suspect that my Grandfather Alvin spent most of his life feeling that his father had done everything that was necessary with our family's history.  I don't think he was really very interested.

However, I do remember once, when I was about 7 or so, my Grandfather sat all of his grandchildren down on the swing on his back porch and told us about our family history.  I was the oldest, my cousins were probably between 2 and 4 years old.  I remember Grandpa was trying to tell us something important, but it was really boring.  I didn't understand much.  But I remember Grandpa was really proud of his heritage.

About 1973.  I'm on the left with my cousins on the porch swing.  If my memory is right, this is the day my grandfather tried to tell us about our family history.

Being a university professor, I know Grandpa was perfectly capable of real research and he could have been a good genealogist.  However my Grandfather performed only one genealogical act in his life that I know of. He wrote a history of his father, Joseph Hatten Carpenter--the genealogist.  This book is only 145 one sided pages.  But that one small act had a great impact on me.

The book was published when I was 10 years old.  Because I was one of the descendants, I got my very own copy.  It sat on the little white bookshelf in my room and on quiet nights, I would pull it out, and read about Joseph.  Even though I have many ancestors who were actually quite famous, Joseph was the one I knew the most about, and I became quite connected to him.  When the time came that I wanted to learn more about my family history, you can guess who I was connected to, and where I wanted to spend my time first.  I've traveled to the family history sites and archives researching along this line and I've learned alot about my patriarchal family because of this small book my Grandfather wrote.

Grandpa passed the year I turned 16. It is hard to quantify the effect he had on my life.  Certainly my ethic for education came from him and that has been a huge influence in my life.  I could go on and on about other things I've learned from him.  But this small book has been a real treasure.

When I started lecturing at Family History Conferences, my very first lecture was "Where to Start When It Is All Done,"  I talked about the family history my Great-Grandfather Joseph collected and what I've been able to do with it.  In that lecture, I often showed this book of my Grandfather's and talked about what an impact it had on my life and my family history work.  Diving into Family History when alot of work has already been done is challenging--just like it was for my Grandfather Alvin.  I tried to encourage the attendees by showing them his book and describing what an impact it had on me.  I told them that if they only accomplished one thing, it would be worth it in the lives of their descendants.  According to my records, I've given that lecture 34 times from coast to coast and my copy of Alvin's book has come along with me.

But the most amazing thing happened last month.  My son Matthew has been helping my Dad go through his family history boxes.  And they found this:  A copy of the book that my Grandfather had actually signed to me.  It reads in part:

I hope that you will enjoy reading about some of his wonderful accomplishments.  May you learn to appreciate the great heritage you have as his great-grand-daughter.  With love and best wishes, your grandfather, G. Alvin Carpenter.

When they gave it to me I just cried.  It was like a pat on the back from my Grandfather for the work that I have put into this industry, trying to help people with this important work.  I felt like I had been fulfilling my Grandfather's wishes, to learn about our amazing heritage and honor his legacy.  And even though he never saw it in this life, I had learned to appreciate this history that was so important to him.

Had I always had this copy of the book, I don't know that it would have had such an impact on me.  So you never know... you never know where the trail of breadcrumbs will lead your descendants.  How blessed I am for the people who went ahead of me and blazed that trail.

Thanks to my Dad

My Grandfather George Alvin Carpenter in his garden

I’m so thankful for my Dad today.  He took my son out to lunch for a visit and they ended up visiting the home where my father’s parents lived.  They had a long talk about my grandparents, about what they were like, about my grandfather’s career.  They found that my Grandfather’s garden plot was still there and that the current residents were still growing a garden there.  I remember every time we visited there we first had to go see how Grandpa’s garden was doing and admire his plants.  Dad talked to my son about how he met my mom and about his own life when he was my son’s age.  I’m so grateful for the time they got to spend together.  So glad they spent some time connecting the generations.  Thanks Dad!

Family History and Youth Infographic Part 2: Emotional Benefits

 

For more great ideas in teaching your children and grandchildren about family history, take a look at our Zap the Grandma Gap books and workbooks.

Making Your Holidays More Meaningful

Just before Thanksgiving, over on The Chart Chick, I blogged about some creative, holiday decorating ideas that incorporate family history. I am very proud to say that I followed through on my desire to accomplish one of the ideas for my own Thanksgiving dinner and the results were amazing! Take a look at my pictures. It was really awesome to have our ancestors there at the dinner table with us.  It sparked several conversations about specific ancestors and it made us all feel a lot more thankfulness for everyone who had come before.  I think it was really beautiful too.  So we have a new holiday tradition at our house.

I put the pictures together digitally and then printed the whole thing on vinyl.  It was was really durable--even when we spilled food on it.  While that is a little outside of the norm for us, we can still do one for you, of course, if you like what you see.  Send me an email or give me a call (801-472-1091) and we can talk about the particulars of how to put your table runner together. Another option for you is something Rachel and I pulled together a couple of summers ago. You can check out the original blog post and YouTube tutorial here. Either way, I can't recommend this idea enough. It made a huge impact on our family now to share a meal with our ancestors from the past.

So this idea of decorating for the holidays with your family history got me to thinking about all the ways we could make this holiday season more meaningful. Like you, I've thought thought about what makes for a "Good Christmas Morning" or "Perfect Chanukah Gift." It isn't stuff. I know we all know this, but do we really know it? So I'm issuing a challenge to all of you (and myself) this December. Let's think of ways to really make this holiday season a meaningful one. One that, when our children and grandchildren look back, they won't remember what they got (because let's face it, they won't) but rather what they felt.

So let's talk about some ways to do that. Here's a ready to go list for you, for easy reference and personal application.  You can thank me later. ;)

• Decorate Your Home With Memories - Take a look at my Thanksgiving Decor blog post. It's jam packed with ideas that will work for your Christmas or Chanukah celebration as well. Not to mention easy-peasy, meaningful gifts. Or better yet, center your decorations around a custom made, decorative chart. You still have time for your domestic orders to make it in time for Christmas and Chanukah! Contact us today!
• Heartfelt Chanukah In 8 Steps - I love this article from Simple Kids. Robin, the author of this particular article, has got it right on with this! What amazing parenting advice for a meaningful, quiet remembrance of this miraculous holiday. She's even given links to help you plan your own tender moments with your family. She also offers advice on how she helps her children to understand and support their friends who celebrate Christmas, while still giving them the confidence and security of embracing their own holiday and traditions. She also gets to the heart of the whole aspect of teaching your children, through traditions, why certain aspects of Chanukah exist and how that affects them. Her words and perspectives are beautiful. What a great mom!
• Christmas Advent Activities - So this idea may be just a little late in the game (December came fast this year!), but it's worth jumping on now, while we still can. Maybe you remember those little cardboard Advent calendars from your youth with foil wrapped chocolates, or perhaps your family lit an advent wreath, or maybe you made a paper chain at school and relished in tearing off a link each day. In whatever fashion you know an advent calendar, Thomas over at Geneabloggers has a wealth of family history themed advent ideas. In fact, I have even seen tweets already of people clamoring for his collection of genealogy themed advents. Go ahead and take a look and see what ideas tickle your family's fancy. The children will love the countdown and you will love infusing your personal family narrative into the tradition. That will last longer than any foil wrapped chocolate ever could, I promise!
• Keep An Old Tradition - Talk to your children and find out what they think your holiday traditions are.  A few years ago, one of my employees and her husband were surprised to discover that their children considered dinner at their family's favorite restaurant in Salt Lake City and new pajama's on Christmas Eve to be "their family tradition." At the time it was something her family had only done once or twice, but the children identified it as what their family did on Christmas Eve. She and her husband didn't question it and decided that from then on, if the children felt it was a tradition, then it was. Over a decade later, they still celebrate Christmas Eve the same way.
• Storytelling - Dig back into your memory and pull forward everything you've ever heard about how your ancestors celebrated the holidays and share it! It's fascinating to learn how things used to be and I can promise your children will absolutely appreciate their holiday now when they learn about how holidays then used to go. There is a little bit of thankfulness involved there when kids see things as they used to be. Not to mention how curious your children may become once you start talking about how meals were prepared or gifts were made. They may even want to tackle some of those things themselves--which would be a parenting touchdown for you!
• Service - This time of year, we're all more tender hearted and aware of those who are having a harder time than we are. Opportunities to serve are endless and it seems like charities come out of the woodwork. Decide as a family on a particular charity or service project you identify with and go for it with gusto. It could be a gift tree at your local super store, Toys for Tots, Project Linus, Little Dresses for Africa, or any of your local charities. Children's hospitals are a great place to start, if you are looking for something really hands on to do with your family (meaning: your children actually see the impact of their service). One of my employees still remembers the gratitude she felt for families that came and served dinner at the Ronald McDonald House when her son was hospitalized for a week after an emergency surgery. While the businesses that ordered in pizzas were appreciated, it meant the most to her to say thank you to teenagers who had spent the day making fajitas or lasagnas with their parents. This is the easiest time of year to get your children and grandchildren invested in helping others. Start small and watch them catch fire--because they will. Service is contagious!

Hopefully this will get your gears turning on how you and your family can come together in different ways to create a more memorable and meaningful holiday season.  Televisions and Barbies only hold our attention for so long before they are just another everyday thing. But memories will light our minds for years to come--and they will be passed on for generations in future story telling. So when you get overwhelmed with your holiday to-do list, slow down and think about what really matters and what will really last. Make this holiday season one that will draw your family together and strengthen your relationships for the long haul.

The Joy of Rediscovering Everyday Memories

Over on The Chart Chick, I have been dissecting The Ancestor Effect research study done in 2010.  It's been a powerful experience to see documented, scientific proof that backs up what we in the genealogy community have always known: Family History Benefits Us and Our Youth.  I'd love for you to look over the articles if you haven't had a chance to yet.

I found an interesting article called "The Unexpected Joy of Rediscovering the Ordinary" back in September, when I was in the depths of studying and deciphering the impact of this study, that I realized inadvertently coincides with the research done on The Ancestor Effect.  Particularly the final portion of the study that looked at whether or not negative familial memories had adverse effects on the test subjects, as opposed to positive familial memories.  Interestingly enough, it turns out that the academic and personal benefit of thinking of our ancestors is the same whether we have good memories/associations or bad memories/associations.  It seems counter-intuitive but the science has spoken.

So the article I mentioned was from the Boston Globe and the story originated from a study published in the Harvard journal Psychological Science (the link in the article is broken, so this is the best reference I can give you... sorry!) about how everyday memories are surprisingly just as powerful as the "big moments" of life, in retrospect.  The study came about when Harvard graduate student Ting Zhang was scrolling through pictures on her phone and realized that most of the things she had captured were birthdays, holidays, big events, and so forth.  Then, occasionally, she'd stumble on an inconspicuous, everyday moment and she realized she felt a sudden rush of joy from being reminded of how she felt in that moment that she had decided to take the picture.  An idea was born and she and her colleagues devised a series of experiments that would allow her to see if her feelings were unique or if others might have the same experiences in the same situation.  (In fact, her dissertation is on the psychology of rediscovery.  How cool is that?)

In one study, the researchers had asked undergraduates to create a "time capsule," to be reviewed after a summer, of seemingly ordinary events that they were asked to write about (i.e. three songs they just listened to, the last party they just attended, the most recent conversation they had, etc.) and then to rate how interested they thought they would be to be reminded of these things later.  Three months later, when the "time capsules" were reviewed, it turns out that the undergraduates were actually more interested and excited to review the responses they had given than they had previously estimated.

In a second study, the researchers decided to compare an everyday memory and its personal effect with a holiday memory and it's effect.  A week before Valentine's Day, the test subjects were asked to write down a recent experience with their romantic partner.  Then, the day after Valentin's Day, the test subjects were asked to write down their Valentine's experience with their romantic partner.  They were asked to rate how they perceived each event.  Upon review later, even though test subjects consistently rated their Valentine's Day as more "extraordinary," it was revealed that reviewing the "ordinary" event brought just as much joy as the originally perceived "special" memory.  Take that overpriced roses and waxy chocolates!

Finally, another experiment was based on giving the test subjects the option of writing down a  few notes about a recent conversation they had had with someone or watching a short, funny video clip.  Most people voted to watch the video clip.  Regardless of what they chose though, the researchers then asked all the test subjects to do both items and then rated how interested they think they would be to remember the events a few months down the road.  Sure enough, nobody thought they'd care all that much about either event, but particularly about rereading what they wrote and, sure enough, the test subjects all discovered that they undervalued their interest greatly.  Pretty interesting, right?

So ultimately, it turns out that the researchers discovered that people ended up valuing their ordinary experiences much more than they originally expected they would.  In fact, as a result, many test subjects then went out and bought journals and reported recording their daily events more often.  Hmmm, I think I have talked about journals before, haven't I?  But in relation to The Ancestor Effect study, I think this has crossover merit there as well.  We, as a population, are intuitively led to believe that to have an interest in our families and their histories, the memories have to be positive or unique and grand.  We seem to believe that to receive a benefit from knowing about past events, the events have to be something amazing or profound.  But it turns out that every day and ordinary is just as powerful to us as big and grand.

The same thing happens when I look at pictures of my childhood with my family.  We all say, "I remember that wallpaper."  Or "That was such a funky clock we had in the kitchen."  rather than focusing on the birthday picture, or whatever else the subject actually was.  I watch that when Kim's family shows their old slides too.  I remember cropping pictures when I first did some scrapbooking years ago and starting to realize that I was losing some fantastic memories by cropping out the background.  Often the little details bring back so much.

Does that change your perspective any on how you approach your own family history and what you are preserving now?  You never know what someone might value in the future.

Does it make you want to take a different track when introducing family history to your children and grandchildren?  I will admit, I really think it's something to give a person pause.

It would seem that the garden doesn't have to be blooming prize roses for us to gain a happy perspective.  In fact, it turns out a few daisies are just as effective.  The crossover of the actual science behind family history and record keeping and how those things effect us, in the short and long term, is so fascinating.  The more studies I come across in my researching the more I realize how everyone is coming to the same conclusion scientifically: Family History Benefits Us and Our Youth.  Knowing small and simple facts about our family, good or bad, and recording small and simple events, good or bad, help us and make us happy down the road.  In the short term and the long term.  How awesome is that?  Very much so, I think!

Now That You Might Have Some Free Time...

That was kind of a joke, actually.  However, with most schools back in session all across the US (if not now, very soon), many of us parents and grandparents tend to sigh a big sigh and think, "Now I can finally get back to my personal projects."  Just me?  I thought there might be a few others out there who are feeling the same as I am these days.  So, naturally, I hit up my trusty Pinterest account for some excellent go-to ideas that some folks might have a moment to tackle.  I am particularly fond of this one, which I happen to think would make a fabulous Christmas gift for a baby or toddler.  If you start now, you could probably have an over-the-top amazing version ready and wrapped before Halloween.  Hallelujah, anyone?

This adorable idea comes from YouCanMakeThis.com and I have to say, I really love it.  The link will take you to the page where you can purchase the pattern to make yourself, if you choose.  However, a handy-dandy Google Search rendered an amazing amount of similar projects that had my intergenerational-linking-heart going pitter-patter!  You can see some amazing examples here, here, and here.  Or, just do a search for family picture quiet book and go from there.

I actually did something like this for my own children many a moon ago and seeing all of these great versions above got me searching through my own closets.  I had a moment of happy reminiscing as I flipped through these old books that my children toted to church and used so often.  As you can see by the pictures below, the apples on our family tree have long since been lost and the book was well loved.  When it comes time for me to be a grandma, I will be remaking new versions of these books and I will definitely be utilizing some of the fun ideas above, not to mention revisiting the originals shown below.

Well worn and well loved by my children.

We had apples that attached to the tree but I couldn't find them.

Something else that I did when my children were young was to pick up little dollar store flip-book photo albums and I just rotated out family pictures as I printed them.  Such a little thing but such a big impact for my children who loved seeing pictures of themselves, mom and dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles and so on.  It was such an easy thing to update and replicate with three little ones.  Little picture books can be very involved or very simple and the effect is the same--young children love seeing the people who love them.

This idea would make a really lovely gift or a fantastic surprise to tuck away in a diaper bag (sort of an ace in the pocket for a particularly rough moment).  More importantly though, it will show a young child or grandchild that he or she is part of something bigger.  Starting early, the security that comes from knowing that there are many people who love us and are invested in us has the power to set our personal "self-talk" in positive mode from the beginning.  That in an of itself is a pretty potent cure for future bumps in the road of life.  So, if you are looking for a way to plant the Family Tree Seed early in a loved one's life, I can't imagine a better starting point than baby's first family scrapbook.

Taking the Pain Out of Journaling, Part 3

So, how are we feeling about this whole journaling project? Have you applied any of the tips I gave you last time?  I hope so, but if not, that is just fine.  I have a fresh new list of tips for you below.  Shall we get started?

• Create a space specifically for recording personal events. If you build it, you will come. Well, something like that. The point is, find a place where you could conceivably set up shop and then make it special. Stock it with specifically chosen journals and pens. Make sure you have appropriate lighting, space, and outlets to plug in digital recording devices. A comfortable chair is critical as well. Consider ordering one of our decorative charts to hang in that space to remind you of why you're doing this: to link your generations together through stories and experiences. Above all, make it yours. (Maybe the youth in the family will take advantage of your special place and do a little journaling too.)
• Think outside the box. It isn't always about a dictation of events. Sometimes journaling is simply finding and recording connections in any way that works. My Zap the Grandma Gap Ancestor Activity Books are a great way to help your children or grandchildren (and yourself) record personal family details without overthinking the process. I have all sorts of activities to help make discovering and recording personal family history unique and fun. 
• Experiment with format. Give yourself different challenges for each time you journal. Maybe you'll give yourself a "One Word Sentence" challenge where you can only describe your day One. Word. At. A. Time. Or how about an acrostic poem based off of the adjective that best describes your current mood? Write a "Mad Lib" about your day but then ask your children, grandchildren, nieces or nephews to fill in the blanks. (Talk about a fun family activity right there!) The point is, break out of the idea that every journal entry needs to include grammatically correct sentences. 
• Try out a "Currently" list. This is something that I've seen on the web in blogs and other social media sites but it's something I've done for years, long before Pinterest made it cool. Simply head your page with the word CURRENTLY in all caps (just like that). Then create a list that could include any number of activities, such as "listening to" or "watching" or "eating" or "loving." You get the general idea. Go back an add a few words or a sentence that describes those verbs. It's the fastest way to bullet point a week while still actually showing your personality. Win-win all the way.
• Just do it. Sometimes we're going to have to put off washing the cereal bowls for just a few minutes. Maybe we need to skip watching a favorite TV show. Occasionally the phone just doesn't need to be answered. Whatever it is that's eating up your spare change minutes in the day, see if you can do without it a few times a week and commit to creating a consistent habit. It will make a difference in your life. I promise! 

I hope this list has you motivated to take some time to record your life a little more consistently. And if you are great about that habit already, maybe these ideas will help you shake things up in a fun and exciting way. The real point of all of this is just to inspire you to take little steps at improving your family history habits. Someday, someone you've never met will be so thankful for the time you put into your own journaling and personal history. And if they get to know a little bit about your personality along the way, well, all the better!

Taking the Pain Out of Journaling, Part 1

Journaling.  The "J" Word.  It's such an important part of recording our identity and experiences for future generations but it's just so hard to actually write things down. Why is it, with all of the modern conveniences of this day and age, that we struggle to find the time to keep a consistent and accurate journal of our life's events? We usually have good intentions and tell ourselves we'll get to it as soon as we have a spare moment. And we mean it. We really do. Until suddenly, we don't.

If you want to be remembered yourself,  if you want to be one of those transitional people who passes down the family heritage and invests the next generations in all of the emotional health that family history brings, you'll be more effective at it if you keep your own journal and record things about your own life, as well as what you find out about your ancestors. 

So what can we do to help us keep our promises to ourselves to try a little harder to remember to write things down? And not just the big things, but the little things that make up our personal cosmos too. I've compiled a list of ten fun and creative journaling ideas to help motivate you to jump back on the personal documentation band wagon--or even join it, if you're new to the whole idea of journaling. I will be posting those ideas over the next couple of days, so be sure to come back for your daily dose of journaling inspiration. It really will be painless... I promise! Maybe you'll even find it a little fun.

Passing the Torch.

I can't tell you what a great day it was for me when the day for Matthew's big lecture came at RootsTech.  The genealogy community was fantastic.  The whole day they treated Matthew like a rock star.  So many people were congratulating him and telling him how wonderful it was that he was speaking.  Thanks to Drew Smith for interviewing Matthew for his Genealogy Guys podcast.  I have yet to hear what he said.  I'll post the link when it is available.

We prepared and prepared for this lecture and the best part was how much more Matthew learned about family history and the different ways there are to do things.  And once all the videos and slides were put together, he got to do some practice runs for youth groups organized by friends of mine.  (Thanks!)  But as we were walking in, I realized--if I hadn't before--how much it was entirely up to him now and I had no say in what was going to happen.  That moment when a mother lets them go...  And Matthew has decided to be the stand up comedian of Family History.  He had a couple of jokes in there that I was a little nervous about but we survived.  He talked about how if you use a picture of a potato with MyHeritage's face matching technology it doesn't work so well.  And he had a slide where he explained how on FamilySearch you are contributing to one big tree, but on Ancestry and My Heritage it was just your own tree.  He kept referring to the one big tree as being like communism.  Try as I might we couldn't find anything to replace that joke.  But it always gets big laughs and that works for him.  Even if I don't appreciate it so much.  At least he understands the concept I guess.

So the room filled with about 400 kids (twice) and HE NAILED IT!  He did so wonderful.  He went slowly enough, his audience stayed with him, and I think he really taught them something: the difference between a conclusion tree and actual sources, an introduction to what the three big sites offer, and search strategies for looking for real data about your ancestors. One lady wrote me an email afterward and said, "I recently attended several days of the RootsTech conference, and the class Matthew presented on finding your geezers was by far the best.  I brought my teenage daughter with me today for the youth event and this was the class she and I decided to attend together.  This one class was well worth the entire registration fee for the conference.  I cannot thank you enough for spelling out the similarities and differences in the various websites and their software.  Your class was clear and concise, humorous, and highlighted all the right areas.  Thank you for showing the ~how~ of finding ancestors, and making it accessible and understandable to my daughter." 

It was truly the biggest payday of my genealogical career.  So much more than anything I have accomplished, to see him so confident and knowledgeable about his own family history and how to do real research with real sources was so wonderful.  And that's what it is really all about isn't it?  As a mother, I truly feel that raising successful confident kids is the most important work I will do in my life.  And Family History is such a great tool for that.  In the weeks since the conference, I'm amazed at the peace and self-posession that has settled into him.  And our relationship throughout this process has improved 10 times over.  I don't think that is just because of the experience of the lecture--I really think it is largely because of the topic.  Family history work gives kids the self assurance of who they really are and what they can become.  And that is the greatest thing a Mom could ever hope for. This whole exercise has been very real proof in my life of the power of family history to strengthen youth and strengthen the family relationships they have.

Three years ago I brought my pre-teens to Rootstech and they were the only kids there. A couple of people even gave me a hard time about it. My how times have changed.  The crowds were wonderful at the conference this year.  I think the final count came in around 13,000 with about 4,000 of that being youth.  Kudos to FamilySearch for bringing this all about.  We passed out paper dolls at the booth from our new activity books.  It was crazy busy and so much fun.  I never even got a chance to get any good pictures around the conference.  But I did snap one of the booth.  Or the backs of the people at the booth anyway.  

Both of us with our speaker tags.

Oh yeah, and I lectured too.  I did my Leave a Heritage Workshop where we took time to brainstorm what family history assets each person has and who the transitional people were in their families.  Then we broke into groups and tried to figure out where those assets relate to the different ages of youth in our families.  It didn't quite go the way I wanted it to.  Try as I might we ran out of time.  It really needs to be a two hour workshop.  But the feedback I got was good.  I think it really gave people the time to think about what they want to purposely pass down.  And I know they left with a plan of action.  I developed a little worksheet for the class based on some of the Power Up Workbook pages.  Hopefully I'll get to use it again soon in another situation. 

And prizes.  One of the best parts of Matthew's presentation was the end where he gave away prizes.  He gave away a full set of RootsMagic products in each of the lectures, and My Heritage donated a full subscription, a set of their ancestor playing cards, and a My Heritage hoodie for each of his lectures as well.  Thanks to Bruce Buzbee and Daniel Horowitz for being so supportive of Matthew and being so excited about young genealogists.  I think prizes and more thinking outside of the box is important for getting youth involved.  We gave away some Family ChartMasters blank charts and gift cards too.  We're nothing if not supportive of efforts to help youth learn about their family history around here.  :)

Matthew has been scheduled to teach at another local family history fair in Pleasant Grove in March and at the Family History Conference in Ogden in September.  He has submitted to a couple of other conferences as well.  I've passed on a few of the conferences I usually do this year so that I can do some more development.  But he is taking up the torch.  Exactly how it should be. 

Disneyland and Intergenerational Transmission

We've just returned from a family history trip of sorts.  My parents and all of their descendants took off last week for a great trip together to celebrate their return from being abroad for the last 2.5 years.  It was a trick to get everyone's schedules aligned, but we did it--everyone got to come.  And the destination of course was Southern California where my mother grew up and where my Grandparents lived for most of their lives.  Mom and Dad you just finished your commitments away from our family..What are you going to do next?  We're going to Disneyland! 

Me and my little sister with Grandma
and Grandpa on Main Street

Disneyland runs deep in my family like I'm sure it does in many other families.  Once or twice a year when we went to visit my Maternal Grandparents, we always had to make the trip to Disneyland.  My Grandmother had Multiple Sclerosis and was in a wheelchair from the time I--the oldest grandaughter--started walking.  So for 30 years my parents visited as often as they could and supported and helped my grandparents as much as they could.  I'm not sure if it was gratitude for my parent's help, or if it was sheer grandfatherhood that made Grandpa take us to Disneyland every time we visited.  But we sure had fun. And as hard as I'm sure it must have been for them, they always came along.  I have such great memories of them there and now it seems like they are there with us.

Not with Uncle Ken,
but Dad and Jenn this time.

So we have long standing traditions at Disneyland.  The teacups has been my favorite forever because my Uncle Ken would take us and spin us so fast we couldn't hold our heads up at all.  (The pink one without the hearts is fastest--in case you didn't know.)  And it wasn't till I was quite a bit older that I figured out what a sordid tale the actual topic of the Pirates of the Caribbean was because growing up I just knew it was my Grandpa's favorite ride.  He would put his arm around me and sing "Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me."  Last week, with all of my parent's descendants together in the same boat we sang at the top of our lungs and it felt like Grandpa was there.

But get this:  One of our family's Disneyland traditions actually almost missed me.  Apparently, my sisters all buy churros when they come out of the Haunted House because Grandpa used to always buy them for us while he was waiting with Grandma while we went on the ride.  I do remember that--now that they mention it.  But I didn't have that memory as clearly as they did.  So--thanks to my sisters, I have a fun new tradition to honor my Grandfather with. 

Mom photobombing the teenagers--the next generation.

It made me think about what gets transmitted down and what doesn't.  I'm sure there are lots of families with traditions and folklore about Disneyland.  When I was little, they didn't allow food inside the park, but now they do and I suspect it is because there are families like ours that are going to pay $3.75 per churro or eat dinner at the Blue Bayou restaurant no matter what.  Transmitting those traditions are precious--no matter what the cost and it feels so good to be connected to the past and connected to your family.  Good memories are precious, precious things.

So this year we had the youngest (yet) grandchild graduate to where she could drive on the Autopia and she took Grandma for a ride.  I totally remember how cool that was!  And we had to get my sister who is pregnant and having trouble with her sciatic nerve a wheelchair--and though that wasn't fun, it was a real joy to push her around.  We didn't have any trouble finding someone to push her and I'm glad she didn't get a motorized wheelchair.  It was like having Grandma with us there again.  It also got us a great place to view the World of Color--just like we were always happy  to have handicapped parking in front of that old massive parking lot because of Grandma's wheelchair. 

At the beginning of the line at the Tower of Terror

And just for the record, my Mom's favorite ride is the Tower of Terror--not only because she loves roller coasters, but because it reminds her of the hotels in So Cal that her Grandmother used to take her to when she was a little girl.  So next time we visit, I'll remind everyone while we are waiting in line about that part of our family history.  And in line for Soaring over California, I'll keep reminding everyone about how my Grandfather was part of the beginnings of aviation in So Cal after World War II.  

I so love this family.  And I hope we can keep transmitting that down the generations most of all.  I think we were closer on this trip and the experience was deep and rich because of our shared history there. 

Here's our newest vacation tradition--movies made from an app on my sister's iPhone.  Now life comes with a soundtrack :)

The Intergenerational Self

If you read the genealogy blogs you may have run across mentions of Bruce Feiler's New York Times article this spring, "The Stories That Bind Us."  This article is based on his book "The Secrets of Happy Families" a book I can highly recommend--we've been using some of the principles in my family and they are working great.  Feiler's purpose in writing the book was to find "revolutionary ideas [that] remain ghettoized in their subcultures, where they are hidden from the people--the families--who need them most." (pg 5).  He wrote the book to popularize some of the most ground breaking research that is going on in what makes a family run well.  But one of the studies really resonated with me--the work of Marshall Duke and Robyn Fivush at the Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life at the Psychology Department of Emory University.

I've been researching out this topic and reading their paper, "The Intergenerational Self: Subjective Perspective and Family History."  Fivush, Duke, and Jennifer Bohanek write about their studies of middle class families.  First they recorded dinnertime conversations and analyzed how parents used stories about the family's past.  Then they gave the pre-adolescent children several well established psychological tests to determine their sense of well being and the "Do You Know Test" they developed with 20 questions about their family history.  They found that the children who scored the highest on the "Do You Know Test" scored higher in tests of self worth, a sense of being able to contribute to the world, and being in a well functioning family, lower levels of anxiety, more resiliance, and fewer behavioral problems.  In fact, as Feiler reported, "The Do You Know? Scale" turned out to be the best single predictor of children's emotional health and happiness." 

As my friend Amy Coffin wrote: "Boom, goes the science."  We knew it was true.  Now we have the science to prove it.

As of yet, it appears they have not been able to determine the causality of family history and the strong resilience it creates in family members.  But whether the strong family narrative creates strong families, or strong families are naturally inclined to talk alot about their family history, the result is the same.  Knowing about your family history is a quality of strong families that produce capable, strong children.

And, as I've been digging around, through MARIAL's work and through the references they refer to in their papers--there is so much more.  There is study after study about the effects of family history and "Intergenerational Transmission" and the way values and standards are passed from generation to generation.  I've got lots of reading to do.  I'll let you know what I find.  Let me know if you start any digging  yourself.  I think we are on to something really powerful here that may prove what genealogists have known for years--that family history is a soul satisfying, self-esteem strengthening, family bonding goldmine for creating healthy people.  

It works with all ages

 On my way to speak at the Who Do You Think You Are Live conference in London this week I got the opportunity to take my Dad on a Who Do You Think You Are tour.  It was absolutely fantastic.  It was just the two of us and we had a great time together.  It was so wonderful to have some good time with him, and to introduce him to his ancestors in a more real way.

Although Dad has some great scholarly research skills, he hasn't been all that interested in genealogy.  But he was quite impressed.  How could you not be when you are looking at signatures and wax seals that date from before the time of the American Revolution--who are related to you.  I talked about it more on my Chart Chick blog.  I think Dad was impressed. 

Now you may think at this point that this blog is going to be all about taking your family on trips, but that isn't the case.  Family history trips are one of the most incredible ways to engage your family members but they can be long and expensive, especially if your family moved around alot.  Things have just happened to work out that way in my life right now and it has been so fun I've wanted to tell you about it.  But I'm launching the new workbook at the conference this weekend and as soon as I get back, we'll be getting them ready to ship out.  I had the most fantastic time finishing up this workbook and I'm so excited to share with you all the wonderful ideas I found about how to engage your family members with their family history.  Stay tuned.  I'll be sharing them on the blog as well.

I was amazed at how settled I felt this time as we left the area.  The first time I went I longed to share it with my family members.  Now that I've taken my Dad and my children--the other descendants of this line, I feel completed, like I'm ready to move on to another line.  Mom and I are already planning a trip to work on her lines as well--so that's something to look forward to.   What a great adventure family history is.  Something deep in your stomach or your chest that feels good.  What an important thing to give to the next generation.